My life is in transition. To what? I don't know. But the theme of this next year for me is FINDING JOY. For me, this theme has two meanings. My middle name is Joy. It was my grandmother's name. I never had the pleasure of meeting her. She died before I was born. But I know she was quite a woman of faith who embodied her name. I wish I could have known her. I wonder what she would tell me about this phase of my life. It is a time that literally everything in my life is changing. After almost 32 years of marriage, I am going through a painful divorce. My children are now young adults in their twenties and they don't need me the way they used to. I am quitting my job and taking a sabbatical year. Everything is changing and I am trying to find out who I am supposed to be in this latter half of my life. Every way I have defined myself for the past 30+ years is different. So if I take away the roles I have played (wife, mother, executive director) I am left asking the question, who am I? I'm sure it's an identity crisis that many people go through when their roles in life change, whether that be due to a retirement, a geographical move, job change, loss of a spouse, or many other life changes that cause someone to question who they are now. So part of my journey in 2022 is to find out who I am and who I am called to be, as Linda Joy.
The second part of my FINDING JOY theme is just that: Finding Joy in the midst of life, no matter what my circumstances are. I am trying to discover what joy is all about. Dictionary.com defines joy as:
noun
a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture
something that gives great pleasure
verb (used with object)
to give great pleasure, satisfaction, or enjoyment to; please highly
verb (used without object)
to have great pleasure; take pleasure (followed by in or an infinitive)
But what about times in life when you cannot conjure up a happy emotion to save your life? How do you find joy when life isn't happy? When you find no pleasure in life? When your world is falling apart around you? What then? 2 Corinthians 8:2 tells of a group of people who were very poor and being tested by many troubles, yet they were filled with abundant joy which overflowed in rich generosity. That's the kind of joy I am looking for; a joy that is deeper than the emotion that accompanies a happy time in life. Because in all truth, I'm in a time in my life which is the opposite of emotional joy; that which is defined as misery, unhappiness, sorrow, and grief. What kind of joy accompanies this time in life?
I am intently looking for joy in my life. This blog is about my journey to FINDING JOY. I hope you will join me on the journey.
As someone who was forced to redefine herself, I feel your struggle. You will do so with grace and strength…. And joy! ❤️❤️ - Charee